Pain

Today I tried to end this life

with a belt around my neck and a knife

I have no more energy for this battle

starting to feel like one fo the cattle

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Heart is heavy and skies so grey

I wonder which decision made my life this way

Was it letting him become my child's keeper

or does it go much further back and deeper

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Why does it even hurt to breathe

lips turn blue without chattering teeth

Each tear stings my face, eye lids puffy as can be 

I'm lost and hurt, can't anyone see

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If you think I'm being crazy

research depression, I'm not just lazy

PTSD since the age of 3, or was it 2

my mind blocks it out, oh what did they do?

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Scars on my body both self afflicted and given by one

violence surrounds me, the trauma weighs a ton

and still my heart still yearns to care

holding the pieces of my life, please no more tares

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